Irrational Fear…

I think I have a problem with letting go of people. To some, this may come out as a shocking thing, especially because I easily push people away. However, I’m actually talking about, my past. I’m sure that, everyone makes new friends along the road, but at some point, something just happens to separate them. Usually, people move on with their life, but not me. I don’t really know what or why I’m writing. All I know is that, if we were friends once upon a time, and you had to move, and somehow we didn’t stay in touch…

You should know that there were days were I just sat there, and wondered how you were doing, whether you changed as a person, if you still had the same annoying habits, whether you still dress, talk, walk, and drink the same.

At some very rare occasions, I would try to find you on every social networking site that I ever used. And when I find you, I would re-read all our conversations. Sometimes I would message you. Hoping that you’d still remember me. All the memories and conversations that we had. Whether you still have that jacket, teddy, book, bracelet, or necklace that I once gave you.

But let’s all snap back to reality for just a second. I somewhat, refuse to let people be just a part of my history. I think I have a problem with letting go of people that once had an impact on me. Whether it be positive or negative. I fear that, once I let go of people that I knew once, that I knew SO well, that I’d lose them forever. Which should’ve happened years ago. Or maybe, it’s just that I’m never satisfied with just ‘memories’. Maybe I don’t want JUST the memories. Maybe I want the people in the memories too. I think this is too hard to ask for. Might as well give up. Mehh, I don’t know. I don’t tell this to many people but I still wonder about my Kindergarten best friend called ‘Noora’. Is this creepy? Ok. I think I should stop rambling. But anyways, I needed to get somethings off my chest. What better way that to post it on my blog, right? Hahahaha!

The 5 Friends that You Really Need ~

I look at some people, and I see that they have TONS of friends, while some have a few close ones. I happen to fall under the latter. It’s not really important to actually have TONS of friends, that I’ve learnt through my experiences. It’s making sure you are surrounded with the people who are the nearest to your heart. I personally think that I need a few of ‘good quality’ friends, (whatever that means, right?) But, really. Here are five types of friends I think are essential to have in every person’s life.

1. The Mentor. Usually it’s a person who’s older, could be your sister, brother, mother, father, a person in school, etc. Find someone you could always run to when things get tough, obviously because they’re more experienced than you are.
2. The confidant. Obviously, a person you trust. Whether you trust with an advice regarding how your butt looks in a pair of pants, hahaha, or a truthful opinion about something personal, it’s always good to have a person you can trust. They’re VERY hard to come by, but once you do find one, hold on to them even when things get tough!
3. The banter buddy. You’re a chatterbox who would make any Gossip Girl fan proud and you need a gossip outlet. So who’s the Serena to your Blair? You know that you can’t call just ANY friend and talk for hours. So embrace the women who considers endless hours of chatting as one of life’s greatest luxuries, and find someone who shares the same gift as you do!
4. The play pal. Seek a person that is always up for something spontaneous and is willing to make time. Whether it’s the gym, the pool, a walk, lunch, or maybe just manis and pedis.
5. The protégé. Look around you: do you have a friend that is younger than you? If you do, then you’ve found your ‘protégé’! It’s always good to have a person that has the ability to surprise you with her/his insight into life.

BUT IF YOU’VE FOUND A FRIEND THAT FALLS UNDER EVERY CATEGORY (LIKE I DID), THEN ITHINK YOU’VE FOUND YOUR SOULMATE.

So I dedicate this post to my friends, I love you guys to pluto and back. No matter how far or how long we’ve been apart, as long as we both remember… We’re still connected! x

[Disclaimer: Since I don’t have the permission of my friends to post this picture, I blurred out the faces. So YAY for ghost face! AND group hugs! Hahahaha]

Off goes 2012, In comes 2♡13 ~

I know, I’m kinda late on my New Year’s post, and that’s because I wasn’t home at NYE. So excuse my lack of posts, but I will be posting lots soon (Europe trip, etc.)!

So it’s January again, and am not really big on New Year’s Resolutions and stuff, becuase I never stick to them anyways! So why plan any?! However, this year, I will set up easy little baby plans to follow (which I will post at the end), but for now? I’d like to thank all my friends, my classmates, my family, my loved ones, and the people who did me wrong too. Without my friends and classmates, I wouldn’t have had the fun times that I cherish at this moment. Without my family, I wouldn’t have had the support and love I have now. Without my loved ones, I wouldn’t have the courage to accept my flaws. Without the people who did me wrong, I wouldn’t have learned a lot of valuable lessons and most definitely, I wouldn’t have known how to set my priorities right!

2012 was a year, that I don’t think I would ever want to repeat again. Even though the good memories are plenty, I’m sorry to say that the bad experiences over-shadows them. I think that, what happened in 2012, stays in 2012, and I’m not allow myself to feel bad about anything that happened this last year. But I also believe that, I shouldn’t be thankful for all the blessings, ups, downs, new friends,  shared moments, and the talented people I’ve got to discover and see their work. So, my highlights for the past year were:

• Meeting the famous actor ‘Hamad ElOmany’ ‘حمد العماني’. Which was actually some what awkward. But it was fun because I had my best friend with me! (Shout out to Mariam!)

• Discovering my love for poetry and literature.
• Meeting some of the most closest people to my heart! (Shout out to Fay!)
• Starting a blog? Definitely.
• Eating my first beef burger since 6 years? I just had to try Shake Shack! Hahahaha
• Having my first ever professional facial! (Thanks sis ‘A’)!
• Getting my Mac Book!
• Subscribing to a monthly beauty box!
• All the fun trips ( Only my close friends will know this!)
• Visiting Hitler’s Camp in Dachau.
• 24/9/2012, Monday.
• Losing close people that were close to my heart.

However, on the bright side, my goals are:

• Make new memories.
• Try to exercise for 20 minutes each day.
• Try to keep up with my school work.
• Put myself before others.
• Get a second ear piercing. 😦
• Read more books.
• Go back to doing yoga.
• And last but not least, enjoy every moment that comes along, and to learn every lesson 2013 has to offer.

Let’s hope I stick to these. It’s really simple Shamma. You can do it.

Love Always,

Shamma x.